When You're Bored
by Miraculous Pink Ninja
Summary: Crack fic. TMNT one shots. May or may not contain OCs. Turtles may or may not be human. I'm just putting my random thoughts here. Don't worry, I'm sure we all have them.
1. Gimme a Lift

TMNT © Nick

T-sisters, FF Quad, Urban girls © MPN

K9 twins© PopcornWolf10

Hermana Kunochi © herself

(Don't pay attention to the details. I could do this entire chapter without using OCs but I was just bored. Happy anniversary! My FFN account is officially one year old.)

Miracle entered the elevator, hands in sweatshirt pockets. She pressed her floor and waited. For a while. A long while. The lift eventually came to a stop, but it wasn't her floor. Aqua entered, the typing away on her phone. She glanced at the pressed her floor and went track to typing.

The lift doors closed and silence enveloped the two. Miracle glanced at Aqua. Aqua felt a tap at her shoulder. She turned her eyes to Miracle, who was looking front. She caught Aqua's eyes and looked at her with a shrug. Aqua looked around the small space for anyone else, but didn't see anyone and went back to her phone.

Miracle stole another glance at Aqua, and with one swift motion, she tapped Aqua's shoulder. Aqua seemed to be even MORE confused than before. She glanced at Miracle seemed to be even MORE creeped out. She took three or four steps away from her with a paranoid face.

 **She had several hallucinations that day.**

9

Mikey pressed buttons if the elevator and pretended that they gave him a shock. He turned to everyone in the lift, who was staring at him weirdly. He smirked and went back for more.

9

Miracle couldn't help but smirk at the thought. She glanced at the only person in the elevator, Ro. The two knew each other well...ish.

"Hey, Ro," Miracle called.

Roselle turned her head and saw the half empty bottle of soda with a straw that Miracle was handing to her. Ro knew that Miracle was trustworthy, but she didn't know that she was only reliable when she's not bored. Shrugging, she said, "Thanks." She took a sip from the straw, but nothing cam dot her mouth. She tried sucking harder, but still no avail. She raised a brow and removed the straw with intentions of drinking without it, but the carbonated drink spilled from the inner bumps as they passed. Ro choked and glared as Miracle ran out the lift, laughing. Ro tried to chase her, but the doors closed before she could leave.

9

"Can I push the button for you?" Mikey asked Raph.

Raph shrugged. "3," he said absentmindedly, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

"Will do," Mickey snickered. He pressed 2, 4, 7, and 9.

"Hey, I said—"

"See ya!" Mikey yodeled, far, far away into the hall.

Before Raph could move, the doors closed.

" _Don't panic._ " Raph turned his head to Pop, a blond humanomic wolf. "They open again," she added.

 **Things didn't go so well.**

9

April, manager of Psychic 2000, answered the ringing phone.

"Psychic 2000," she said.

"Hey," Mikey replied, "What floor am I on?" Everyone in the lift stared at him oddly.

The lift doors opened, showing April's front desk. "12," she replied, hanging up.

9

Pop helped the doors open as several people entered, but she didn't let go.

"Are you going to let go anytime soon?" Raph asked.

"Hold on, I'm waiting for someone," Pop said.

After what seemed like 15 minutes, Pop let go of the doors saying, "Hey, bro, how was your day?" to thin air.

9

Haven purposely dropped her pen and watched as Leo tried to pick it up. Before he could, however, she exclaimed out of the blue, " **THAT'S MINE!** "

9

Ellie brought out a camera and started taking pictures of everyone in the lift.

"Why do you need those for?" her sister, Pop, asked.

"Something," Ellie replied, before continuing.

9

Raph grunted as the ding of the elevator signaled its arrival. The doors opened and he entered. He pressed his floor & the doors closed.

" _Do you have an appointment?_ "

Raph gasped and pressed himself against the doors, hyperventilating and glaring at Leo, who had moved his table to the lift with a smirk on his face.

9

The group gasped as they saw a twister mat lay on the floor with Mikey in the middle.

"Wanna play?" he asked.

9

Dina chewed on her lip as she glanced at April.

"Do you hear ticking?" Dina asked.

April's went wide as she stared at the box in the corner.

 **She thought there was a bomb and called the police just to inspect it.**

9

Ellie, dressed as a flight attendant, held the elevator doors saying, "If you are trapped in an elevator, use the emergency phone to call for assistance. If the elevator emergency phone is not working, turn on the emergency alarm, located on the control panel, to signal your need for help," to the passengers.

 **No one knew why she did that.**

9

"Did you feel that?" Mikey asked.

 **Everyone in the lift acted as if there was an earthquake, because they thought there was.**

9

Pop shifted nervously as Mikey sniffed her.

"You smell like pizza..." he drooled.

9

In the silent elevator, where everyone was stuck in their own heads, Leo suddenly said, "I can see your aura."

 **People thought he had mental problems.**

9

Raph growled as he swatted thin air.

 **People didn't know if they needed to send him to an ophthalmologist or a psychiatrists.**

9

"Group hug!" Mikey exclaimed hugging everyone in the lift all at once.

9

In the silent lift, Raph smacked his head and groaned, "Shut up all of you, **SHUT UP!** "

 **They sent him to the otolaryngologist.**

9

Pop sniffed the air and gagged. She opened her backpack and asked, "Got enough air in there?" while peeping inside.

9

Mikey stood in the corner, facing the wall, hood up, and never got off.

9

Raph entered the elevator. Mikey quickly pressed all the buttons and got off, leaving an angry Raph to go trough all 70 floors of the building.

9

Leo stared suspiciously at the other man in the elevator. Suddenly exclaiming, "You're one of **them**!" while bringing out his multitool and started stabbing helpless Kraang.

9

" _Hey, I'm Ice Cream Kitty._ "

Raph groaned as he turned his head to Mikey, who was holding a pink, white, and brown cat puppet in his hands.

" _Can we play?_ " the puppet, Ice Cream Kitty, who was being controlled by Mikey, asked.

 **Mikey was sent to the hospital after that.**

9

Everyone stared weirdly at Baxter Stockman as he pressed his stethoscope in the lift floors.

"I hear movement," he said.

 **No one knew what to do.**

9

Leo entered the lift and pushed his floor, only to stare weirdly at Pop, who _boom_ ed when he pushed his floor.

9

Ellie drew a small square in the corner with a chalk and stepped into it announcing, "This is _my_ **personal space!** " to the lift's passengers.

9

"Good day," Leo said, shaking Baxter's, who had just entered the lift, hand, "Call me admiral."

9

Fong ran away from Officers Talia & Sarah while carrying a bag of money. When he got to the lift, he repeatedly pressed the close button a million times. The doors closed before the duo could reach him. He sighed in relief.

" _Congrats._ " Fong jumped and turned to Raph, who was leaning in the corner. "You figured out that if you push the button 20 times, it works quicker!" he dated sarcastically.

9

Silence.

"Meow."

Silence.

"Meow."

Silence.

"Meow."

Silence.

Silence.

"Finally," Raph sighed.

Silence.

"Meow."

"MIKEY!"

 **The doctors asked Mikey why he was sent to the hospital twice in the same week.**

9

"Name, ma'am," Leo said.

"Nicole."

Leo jotted down Nic's name on a name tag and gave it to her.

"Thanks," Nic smiled.

"Name," Leo asked another passenger.

"Ellegard."

"What's this for? Hey, I'm talking to you!"

"Name."

"Violetta."

"Thank you," Vi smiled. "Why are you wearing yours upside down?"

9

"I bet I could fit a quarter in my nose," Mikey smirks.

Ellie scoffed, "Puh-lease, you don't even _have_ a nose."

9

Everyone gasped as Baxter Stockman came in with a cooler labeled 'human head' on the side.

 **They called the cops, who found nothing in the cooler but arrested Baxter anyway.**

 _Bloopsies!_

Miracle tapped Aqua's shoulder, but before she could pull back, Aqua saw her.

"Eh, eh, I saw that," Aqua glared.

9

"Is this shocked enough?"

"No."

"How 'bout this?"

"Nope."

"This?"

"Not even close."

"Don't worry, Direct Herms, I got this!" Raph said, shocking Mikey for real.

"Thanks, Red," Hermana said dreamily.

9

"I'm stuck!" Ro grunted as she struggled to get out of the elevator doors.

9

"You weren't supposed to press 3, Mikey!" Raph exclaimed angrily.

"But Raph said—"

"You need to follow the script!"

 **Mikey was sent to the hospital...again.**

9

Leo grunted as he attempted to move his desk into the lift.

9

Leo groaned as he attempted to move his desk _out_ of the lift.

9

"Group hug!" Mikey exclaimed. hugging everybody all at once.

"Can't breathe!" Raph wheezed.

 **He was sent to the hospital.**

9

"Lemme see the picture you took, Ellie," Pop said.

"Sure," Ellie replied, handing her sister her camera.

"Your thumb's in the way," Pop commented.

9

"Go, Leo, you could do it!" Mikey cheered.

Leo was able to reach for the red circle with his right hand just the moment when the lift doors opened, showing an angry Splinter.

9

"Do you hear ticking?" Dina asked.

Tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick.

"That's just a box...right?" April asked.

"Well, it didn't give the _feel_ so I added an actual bomb inside!"

9

"Do you hear ticking?" Dina asked.

Tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick.

"Is there another bomb in there?" April shuddered.

"Nope, just a clock," Dina replied.

"Good," the red head sighed.

 _ **Krrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing!**_

April yelped and left ran off screen.

"Where ya goin', April, it's just an alarm clock!"

9

"I hear movement," Baxter whispered. "And the Kraang & Turtles shaft fight on the next lift.


	2. Corny lmao jokes

**TMNT © Nick**

 **T-sisters, FF Quad © MPN**

 **K9 sisters © PopcornWolf10**

Pop: "Hey, Ellie, I got a joke for ya."

Ellie: *eye roll* "What is it?"

Pop: "Knock knock."

Ellie: "No one's home."

9

(Don't own this joke)

Cop Bishop: "Where do you live, kid?"

Little Mikey: "With my parents."

Bishop: "Where do your parents live?"

Mikey: "With me."

Bishop: "Where do you live?"

Mikey: "Together."

Bishop: "Where is your house?"

Mikey: "Beside our neighbor's house."

Bishop: "Where is your neighbor's house?"

Mikey: "You won't believe me!"

Bishop: "Tell me!"

Mikey: "Beside our house."

Bishop: [X-X]

9

Wyrm: I need a volunteer for this next magic trick.

Mikey: Me!

Wyrm: Ah yes, young kappa, come up here. (Mikey: [goes up stage]) What is your name?

Mikey: Mikey!

Wyrm: And who are you with?

Mikey: My uncle!

Wyrm: Oh, is it the bronze man over there?

Mikey: Yes.

Wyrm: Sir Mikey's uncle [audience laughter], is Mikey a good boy?

Mikey's uncle: Yes.

Wyrm: Is Mikey's aunt here? (Mikey: Yes!) Ah! Miss Mikey's aunt, is Mikey a good boy?

Mikey's aunt: Yes.

Wyrm: ...Is uncle a good boy?

Mikey's uncle: [O.O]

Mikey's aunt: No.

9

Raph: Hey, Dogpound, wanna play?

Dogpound: Sure. What game?

Raph: Play dead.

9

Mira: What country is home to guns?

Raph: What?

Mira: _Bang-_ ladesh

9

Mikey: One plus three?

Donnie: Four.

Mikey: -plus three

Donnie: Seven.

Mikey: -plus three

Donnie: Ten.

Mikey: -minus four

Donnie: six

Mikey: -plus one.

Donnie: seven.

Mikey: How many dwarves does _Cinderella_ have?

Donnie: Seven.

Mikey: [lmao]

Donnie: It's right!

Mikey: [lolz lmao]

Donnie: WHAT'S GOING ON?!

Raph: [pats Donnie's shoulder] Happens to the best of us. Even Leo fell for it.

Leo: YOU PROMISED YOU WOULDN'T TELL ANYONE!

Raph: Fingers crossed.

9

 **[FILIPINO JOKES]**

Mikey: Anong bansa ang palaging naghahanap ng halik?

Leo: Ano?

Mikey: _Pakiss-_ tan

Tasha: Anong hayop ang walang gilagid?

Donnie: Ano?

Tasha: 'lang-gum

Mira: Anong pangalan ng lungsod ng keso?

Mikey: Mmm...Wala akong maisip. Ano?

Mira: _Keso-_ n City


	3. SCHOOL

**TMNT © Nick**

 **T-sisters, FF Quad © MPN**

 **K9 sisters © PopcornWolf10**

"If Mikey had 100 doughnuts, and he ate 99 of them, what does he have?" the teacher asked. "Yes, Donnie?"

"Diabetes."

9

"Leo is going 18 miles per hour, and the speed limit is 60 kilometers per hour. Is he speeding? Raphael?"

"No."

"And how did you know that? Yes, Mikey."

"Raph checked Leo's speedometer."

9

"Describe school in one word."

" **Hell!** " Raph shouted.

 **-The teacher didn't know if that was the word to describe school or Raph cursed, either way, she sent him to the principle's office.-**

9

"Wonderful drawing of a broken heart, Michelangelo!"

"Huh? It's not a heart. It's upside down!" Mikey said, turning the frame around, "Its a pink butt!"

 **-'Principal's Office'-**

9

"One plus one."

"Window," Pop squealed.

9

"One plus one."

"Magellan!" Tasha exclaimed. (If you know the rhyme, you're awesome. Let me know if you do.) "Also two plus two is Lapu-lapu, three plus three is Christmas tree, four plus four is Singapore, five plus five is twenty five, six plus six is thirty six, seven plus seven is seven eleven (it isn't actually that but it sounds better), eight plus eight is chocolate, and nine plus nine is lucky 9!"

 **-She was given a tutor after that.-**

9

"Teacher, I have a question," Jel said. "When are we going to use E equals MC squared in our lives?"

9

It was silent inside of Ms Campbell's class as the students took a test. Then out of nowhere—

" **CLASS SUSPENSION!** "

Everyone turned to the door where a kid just run by screaming.

...

"Does this mean we're only until lunch?" Tasha asked.

(This is what happens in my school. Someone let me know if it happens in yours too.)

9

[First day of school]

Ms Campbell, the math teacher, smiled, "Okay, can anyone tell me what is the first thing that comes into mind when you hear math?"

" **Mental Abuse to Humans.** "

9

Jel: (raises hand) "Teacher, may I please be excused?"

Teacher: "No."

...

Jel: (raises hand) "May I please be excused now?"

Teacher: "No."

...

Jel: "How about now?"

Teacher: (presses chalk to the board harder) (through teeth) "No, Jeralline."

...

Jel: "Now?"

Teacher: (chalk breaks) "Jeralline Miller, get out of my classroom right now!"

Jel: (grin) "Thank you, teacher!" (leaves class)

Donnie (to Leo): (whisper) "Isn't that what she wanted all along?" "Leo shrugs)


End file.
